what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
