He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
