I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
