I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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