bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
