she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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