he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my poor anus
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
