Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Farmville is her only friend.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
