Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
