He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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