I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
