He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
