My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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