fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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