My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
