Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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