how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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