so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
farters have to be the big spoon...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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