I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
