I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
