dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
