THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How external is "for external use only"?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
