If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There r osticjed everywhere
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
