All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Where is the hickey?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
