Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
People in love make me want to vomit
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
