24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize