Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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