question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
