i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she told me i tasted like america
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize