FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So here I am, sexting at work.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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