Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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