Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
