In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
