I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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