Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
