I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
