If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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