You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You took a bar mat shot.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
