She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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