I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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