I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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