my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
