we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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