All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
