Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
