Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize