what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
