She's JV to your varsity
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
