Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize