just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
