either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
