I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
