I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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