There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
