if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
