you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you would pick up someone in the library
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
3 2 1 whiskey
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
