She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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