white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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