Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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