is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
