Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
