Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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