I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize