I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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