WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
