come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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