I wanna bring you to show and tell
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
