that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
