is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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