We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
