guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize