she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
