small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
