And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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