I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
