its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
