Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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