Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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