how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
