I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
