I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just had sex bonerless
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
