There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
