i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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